Thoughts of a 2nd Lieutenant
by Nirvana Renegade Seiga
Summary: Jean Havoc has never had luck with anybody. Family, friends or lovers. Here is one story that is meant to be told. And it shall be told. Listen as he unwinds what he says, who he loved and why HE left. 3 chapter oneshot.
1. Chapter 1

**Thoughts of a 2nd Lieutenant**

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Jean Havoc, Edward Elric or Roy Mustang. I own nothing. If I did, Ed would fall in love with Jean and Envy would get a manly voice. Not Wendy Powell's Voice.

AN: Well... this is one of my little quick typies. Hope ya'll like it.

STARTED: 1:10AM July 11, 2005

* * *

He hated it. He hated the way those bright golden eyes glittered happily as he stared into Mustang's eyes. He hated the way they ducked behind corners to steal a stray kiss or grope. He hated the way they were holding hands behind the desk. He hated the fact that he knew, every night, he left his home and snuck to Mustang's house for a bit of 'Let's See How Loud I Can Make You SCREAM!'

He hated the way Mustang smirked at him from over the desk. And he absolutely hated the way that _he_ never acknowledged that he felt anything for _him._

Jean Havoc, the nortorious chain-smoker of the Central Military Command was utterly and completely pissed off. Not at the world, oh no, he couldn't go for anything THAT big. He had to be pissed off at his commanding officer; the arrogant, seemingly straight, ladies man, Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist and Taisa.

Jean bit back a gag of disgust as _he_ happily leaned up and kissed Mustang's lips lightly, blushing as he realized that Mustang's hands were nowhere near appropriate for work hours. Jean stood up, biting through his cigarettte, tobacco falling onto his tongue as he kicked the chair back and walked to the heavy oak doors.

"Havoc?" Hawkeye questioned him lightly. Jean kept his eyes closed, afraid to show too much emotion and instead opened the doors and walked out.

"I'm taking my break." He left in a huff, his steps heavy and scaring the lower-rank men and women out of his way. They had good reason to be afraid of him; Jean Havoc was a formidable opponet when upset. And right now, you don't want to be near him. His gun was loaded and in plain sight to anyone who dared to look.

He kicked the doors open and walked out, a new cigarette laying between his lips, the taste ofraw tobacco stil evident in his mouth. Golden eyes haunted his vision and he punched his hand into the wall, cracking one of his knuckles and making the rest bleed heavily. "Damn." Jean mumbled around his cigarette and held the blood hand away from him.

_He_ invaded his vision again and all that Jean could bring up, was the picture of them outside the office, Mustang pressing him against the wall, his lips on _his_ neck and his other hand under a skin tight black shirt. Mustang had smirked at him then too. Always when he saw how much it upset the smoker, he smirked as if saying, '_Ha-ha. Sorry little Havoc, but someone had to teach him to grow up. Too bad it wasn't you! Now I just have to smother this into your face until you decide to go and find your own **victim**_.'

God, Jean **Hated** Mustang.

Jean kicked a pebble beneath his foot and soon it was stained with the dripping blood. He turned shocked blue eyes to it and blinked. "Oh..." a dry laughed escaped him and he shook his hand. "I guess I should get this looked at." He inhaled on his cigarette and closed his eyes, letting his mind take him back to the one day, _he _was his.

-f-f-f-f-f-l-l-l-l-l-a-a-a-a-a-s-s-s-s-s-h-h-h-h-h-b-b-b-b-b-a-a-a-a-a-c-c-c-c-c-k-k-k-k-k

_"Havoc?" Jean lifted his blonde head, connecting blue eyes with bright golden ones. "What's the matter? You've been... err... distracted all day." A blush covered his cheeks and Jean stood up, his cigarette hanging limply from his lips._

_"Hey..." He breathed lightly and the picture of HIM and Mustang from earlier flashed through his mind. He suddenly sneered at him. "Why don't you go back to **Roy**? I'm sure he'll be more interested in what you have to say than me."_

_He pulled back as if struck, his beautiful golden eyes wide with shock. "But... Havoc..."_

_Jean stood up and towered over the shorter blonde. "I know HE probably sent you out. So why are you even bothering with me?"_

_He glared at Jean. "Has it ever occured to you that I might acutally care somewhat about what's wrong with you, Havoc! Have you ever wondered why I always made Mustang back down from lashing out at you? Has any of this occured to you?"_

_Jean stared at him, startled by the sudden outburst. "No. Why should you care?"_

_He glared at the taller blonde. "Jean. I don't follow Mustang's orders when it comes to you. I follow my own orders." Jean blinked and then took a deep breath, steadying his nerves. He crushed his cigarette under one booted foot and then gripped his chin with one pale hand._

_"Jean?" He stuttered, a light blush appearing under wide golden eyes. Jean leaned down and slowly kissed him. His lips all too soft agains the Lieutenants' mouth. He wrapped his arms around Jean's neck, the automail one drifting into his blonde spikes. _

_Jean pulled back, but he followed. With a sigh he pushed foreword and shoved his tongue into the shorter blonde's mouth. He moaned against Jean's lips at the taste of nicotine and suddenly Jean pulled back, his arms still around his neck._

_"How far is your place from here?"He breathed against Jean's neck. Jean blinked and looked at the blonde. his mind swarmed with the many possiblities and suddenly he blinked again. A map quickly was formed in Jean's head and the fog lifted._

_"Not too far... Just a block or so down..." He nodded and grabbed Jean's military shirt._

_"Okay, come on."Jean stared and walked down the street._

_'Oooo... I'm dreaming... yep. I'm dreaming...'_

F-F-F-F-F-L-L-L-L-L-A-A-A-A-A-S-S-S-S-S-S-H-H-H-H-H-B-B-B-B-B-A-A-A-A-C-C-C-C-K-K-K-K

Jean sighed and leaned against the wall. _He_ had dragged him to his house, opened the door by use of alchemy and practically ravaged him in the doorway. Then Jean had dragged him into the bedroom and shown him what a real good time was.

Jean sighed and looked up at the sky, his heart wrenching as he heard Mustang's deep laugh and _his_ snort of amusement.

His eyes closed shut and he clenched the blood hand, the blood dripping onto the ground just like his heart was doing on the inside.

Life was cruel when you fall for the Full Metal Alchemist, Edward Elric.

* * *

Well, how'da like it? Anybody want to request a pairing that I could write? These are the ones that I could do: Ed/Roy, Ed/Havoc, Ed/Al, Ed/Envy, Envy/Greed, Greed/Kimblee, Greed/Ed, Havoc/Feury, Havoc/Mustang, Roy/Hughes, Ed/Russell, and ANYONE ELSE!

LEAVE A REVIEW! with a request please. Then it will be dedicated to you.


	2. Edward's Thoughts

**Thoughts of a 2nd Lieutenant Part II: Edward's Thoughts**

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Jean Havoc, Edward Elric or Roy Mustang. I own nothing. If I did, Ed would fall in love with Jean and Envy would get a manly voice. Not Wendy Powell's Voice.

AN: Second part, these are Edward's thoughts on the matter.

_DEDICATED_ TO: Luckyalchemy27, Kasha the Wind Sorceress, Torii and to all my other 8 reviewers!

STARTED: 03:28 AM, July 15, 2005

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He was annoyed, tired and more than sore in places he never knew he had. Mustang was asleep next to him and gently snoring, his normal cold facade, softened and relaxed, bringing a slight smile to the short alchemists' face. '_Mustang.._' Ed thought quietly and slowly slid out of the white satin sheets, looking around for his pants and other articles of clothing that had been thrown in haste. 

Ed painfully pulled on his leather pants, glancing over his shoulder at the sleeping alchemist and then slipped his soft black shirt over bloody and bruised muscles. He limped out of the house and locked it behind him, throwing his red coat over his shoulder and walking out into the moonlight.

He gently walked into the street and slipped his flesh and blood hand into his pocket and looked up at the moon, his thoughts turning to another figure. This one blonde and lean...

2nd Lietuenant, Jean Havoc, the notorious Chain-smoke of the military... all these things fit the blonde but what Ed wanted was the name that only he could call him. That one night, he was able to call him by his name and not be known as the Full Metal Alchemist or Major Elric. That night, they were known to each other by their names, not titles.

A light blush covered Ed's cheeks as he remembered how he had acted. Pressing his body against Jean's, their tongues battling for dominance and the way he had almost blow down Jean's front door using alchemy to get in, away from public eyes.

Ed sighed as he walked down the middle-class neighborhood Mustang lived in. The smell of nicotine drifted over his nose and it twitched turning instictively towards the smell.

"I guess you went home with the Colonel." Jean Havoc said bitterly as he walked towards him, his military uniform foregone for a pair of cargos and a black shirt. He narrowed his eyes a fraction and flicked off a piece of ash. "Have fun?"

Ed frowned, confused. "What? Havoc, what the hell is wrong with you?" Havoc gave a half snarl and his eyes flashed dark blue for a moment.

"Nothing's wrong with me, Elric," Ed flinched at the use of his last name. "Only that I am so tired of seeing you and Mustang together." He stubbed his cigarette out angrily and instead punched his fist into the wall next to Ed's head. "I'm tired of going for a cigarette break and what I hear is moans, groans and you _screaming_ Mustang's name out in pure esctacy. I don't want to walk into the office in the morning, three donuts, a sandwhich and coffee in my stomach and see you behind Mustang's desk, doing God knows what and my stomach just wanting to hurl it all back up. I tired of seeing you walk home with him every day after military office, happy and cheerful. I don't want to see your brother during my break, wondering when you'll come home." Jean took a step foreword and Ed stepped back.

"I never want to see that suit of armor on my doorstep crying as much as a suit of armor can cry! I don't want him to be hurt anymore than you do." Jean suddenly lunged foreword and grabbed Ed's shoulders bringing him closer to his warmth. "And I don't want Mustang to have what I apparantely can't have." Jean finished softly, his blue eyes loosing their anger to replaced by a comfortating warmth.

Ed was silent, a light pink blush rising on his cheeks as his hands unconsciously wrapped around the back of Jean's arms. "Havoc, I..." Jean pressed one finger against Ed's lips.

"Don't say anything. Not tonight. Not Havoc." Ed's eyes widened again and Jean stepped back, turning on his heel and walking towards a small house.The taller blonde looked once over his shoulder and walked into the house, leaving it slightly open, a crack of light seeping through.

Ed was left standing against the stone wall, a blush on his cheeks and his eyes wide. _' "Don't say anything. Not tonight. Not Havoc." I know what that means, but do I want to find out what else it means?'_ The alchemist closed his eyes and took a deep breath before pushing himself off the wall and limping painfully towards Jean's house.

As he rested his hand above the doorknob to pull it open, he took another deep breath, steeling his resolve and pulled it open, the lights being shut off in the other room. The only light that was left was a few candles placed around the house. Ed kicked his shoes off, hung his jacket up next to a regultation military jacket and two arms wrapped around his waist.

"Glad you came." Jean whispered against Ed's hair. The shorter blonde just sighed and reached his automail hand up to rub his face.

"Jean, you better fucking let me be on top."

* * *

Okay, I can either write an epilouge or an epilouge/lemon. That would mean I'd have to bump it up to M. Now, all you reviewers need to do is review and either put A- Epilouge or B- Epilouge/Lemon.

Okay, I'm taking requests and I'm writing out ones. Remember, put the pairing and the rating! I'll write Teen or Mature. NO P or PG! I can't stand that stuff!

Alright, love ya'll!


	3. Epilogue

**Thoughts of a 2nd Lieutenant Part III: Epilogue**

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Jean Havoc, Edward Elric or Roy Mustang. I own nothing. If I did, Ed would fall in love with Jean and Envy would get a manly voice. Not Wendy Powell's Voice.

AN: The final part. Hope you like it.

_DEDICATED_ TO: Luckyalchemy27, Kasha the Wind Sorceress, Torii and to all my other14 reviewers!

STARTED: 08:02 PM, August 18, 2005

* * *

"Ed... wake up." Jean Havoc shook the younger blonde's shoulder, but Ed only rolled over, pulling the covers with him. "Ed... I have coffee and waffles. Get up." Jean left the room clad in only a loose pair of pants and Ed lunged up after him, trying to pull on his own pair of pants in the process.

"Really? Your famous waffles!" Ed slid into the wooden chair and watched with hungry eyes as the military official flopped waffles over his shoulder and onto Ed's waiting plate. "Oh, I love you!"

Jean chuckled and sat down with his own. "You only love me for my waffles." He looked up as a knock at the door came. "Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention, Al and Winry are showing up with your nephew."

"COME IN!" He bellowed and a minute later, Winry walked in, her two month old son balanced on her hip. "Morning Winry, Al."

Al gave his brohter a hug and then Winry gave him one too. "I see you two look much happier than you did the last time we saw you." She said teasingly. "I guess Colonel Bastard got his 'just desserts'?" She laughed and Jean wrapped an arm around Ed's shoulders,pulling the alchemist into his side.

"you could say that." Ed said, grinning half-heartedly and happily snuggling into his lover's arms.

That day he came over, changed everything. They never left each other (not to mention leave the house for three days) and then Ed broke up with Roy, gladly falling into Jean Havoc's arms. But of course, things went back to normal. Life-threatening danger missions, Mustang calling him a shrimp, Winry fixing his automail...

Nothing changed, besides his love life.

()()()LATER()()()

Ed yawned as he stretched out on the soft couch, his shirt somewhere in the mess of books around the table. He closed his eyes, resting hisflesh arm behind his head, his automail lying over his stomach. "Hey, Ed." Jean said as he walked into the room, his arms behind his back, grinning micheviously.

"Hn." Ed replied, rolling over as the other blonde crept up behind him, grabbing his flesh hand and pulling Ed around, kissing him and slipping something cold and metal into his mouth. "What! Jean!" Ed spit whatever it was out of his mouth and into his hand, seeing a simple golden band glinting in the low lamplight.

"No words, I suppose." Jean said, grinning to himself. Ed instead attached his mouth back to the blonde's and pulling him onto the couch on top of him. Ed breathed a simple, 'yes' and Jean lost himself.

_It was really happening,_ Jean thought, _I have Edward Elric. He accecptedand now, he's mine. No one elses'.I'll keepyou safe._

Ed smiled and ran his hands through the short, spiky locks. _Things did work out after all. And all it took was the thoughts of my Second Lieutenant to get us together._

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_Sorry_, short epilogue, but at least I finished it! Thankies, more reviews, please?


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